I just finished my first day here at University of Utah. I’ve made some friends but mostly have kept quiet. We are a very mature group of about 18 people. I definitely feel like I am the least knowledgeable of the group. I may be on par with one or two other people, but mostly everyone has had more in-depth mathematical study, and if they haven’t formally taken more classes than me, then they definitely have read more math textbooks in their spare time. I don’t fret, however. I feel intimidated, but I have enough self esteem to know that I am a capable, if not somewhat inexperienced, student of Mathematics. I will try to go at my own pace and learn as much as I can. I don’t think I will benefit greatly from trying to “compete” with and compare myself to the others in the group.
I feel like some of the people in the group are very one-dimensional. There is someone who seems to have a complete lack of inner monologue; he says every thought he has out loud almost just as he thinks it. He’s a smart guy, but it can be distracting to hear a nonstop stream of thoughts that aren’t always guaranteed to make any sense whatsoever. I also have thoughts that don’t make sense, but I try not to announce them so steadily. He is one-dimensional in the sense that all the sentences he phrases, and all the thoughts he seems to have are math related. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s this lack of balance that makes him somewhat abrasive. I believe that understanding logic through Mathematics is key to being a rational person, but there has to be some semblance of well-roundedness for me to be able to enjoy someone’s company. I consider myself a student of the world, and I find that the most interesting conversations I have are with people who think critically about their own lives and the world they live in. Perhaps I’m judging the aforementioned internal monologue-less fellow too quickly, but I can’t help but be put off.
That’s all I have to say right now. I think I will go mail a certain item and perhaps eat some food.