This is a pretty sensitive and personal post, so you can skip it if you were looking for a quick laugh.
I thought for a long time about whether or not to post this, and eventually decided that this blog is my personal journal, and whoever is interested enough in getting to know me is welcome to read my journal.
A few weeks ago, I visited Temple Square in Salt Lake City, Utah. There were two very nice missionaries who gave us a tour of he grounds and told us about their experience in the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter-day Saints. We saw the tabernacle choir. It was lovely.
At one point, one of the missionaries had Jesse read a part of the Book of Mormon. It was at that time when the missionary shared her personal story with us. She said that she was unsure about the direction of her life. She read the Book of Mormon and found out that if she honestly asked God to reveal Himself to her, then He would. She said she that anyone can do this. I was intrigued. It is one of the boldest claims I’ve heard. I decided that I should try it.
That night I tried to clear myself mind of all my previous beliefs and I did what I haven’t done since I was a small boy. I knelt before my bed with my head down and hands together. I prayed.
I prayed for guidance. I prayed that God reveal Himself to me. I don’t mean to offend or belittle anyone’s personal experiences, because this isn’t about anyone else. I’ve given it several weeks, and I tried my hardest to humble myself in prayer. Despite that, God has not revealed Himself to me. I don’t feel silly or bitter about the experience–far from it, in fact. I’m happy that I’ve been able to successfully test a religion. I can now say to Mormons that I sincerely tried to believe.
This experience has provided me with more reason to believe that if God exists as the Abrahamic religions describe, then He actively does not want me to believe in Him. That being said, I still don’t see any reason to believe that gods exist. Sorry, Mormons.